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Templeton, Timothy

"The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth"

Uncle Sam was a good old soul, and, seeing that he did not
keep the best cash account in the world, Smooth had no objection to
entering into the tin business with him, now that he had a large stock
on hand. Smooth, however, must make one single proviso, and that is,
that he be always permitted to work out the p's and q's of his own
demands.
"'Ah!' replied the Gineral, good-naturedly; 'Smooth, you're a sharp
fellow, with gumption enough to see through a thing or two; but
remember, if we contract for the licking, with some enterprising
individual, we must pay by measurement. There's the democracy to
please, the country to satisfy, Young America to provide with clean
shirts! I thought my gallant fellow Hollins would have done that when
I sent him to _let strip_ at the Greytowners; but, as the result was
different, a body can't always tell how such things 'll turn, I now
think of letting him out to the Emperor of Russia, who having granted
him means of developing his fighting capacity, by investing him with
full power to thrash the allied fleets of England and France, would
not hesitate to pay a large amount of revenue into the treasury of
these United States for his daring services.


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