Having told the servant I would call again
in an hour, I left the place.
"It was useless to go back to my lodgings and speak to Bashwood,
until I knew first what the doctor meant to do. I walked about
the neighborhood, up and down new streets and crescents and
squares, with a kind of dull, numbed feeling in me, which
prevented, not only all voluntary exercise of thought, but
all sensation of bodily fatigue. I remembered the same feeling
overpowering me, years ago, on the morning when the people of
the prison came to take me into court to be tried for my life.
All that frightful scene came back again to my mind in the
strangest manner, as if it had been a scene in which some other
person had figured. Once or twice I wondered, in a heavy,
senseless way, why they had not hanged me!
"When I went back to the Sanitarium, I was informed that
the doctor had returned half an hour since, and that he was
in his own room anxiously waiting to see me.
"I went into the study, and found him sitting close by the fire
with his head down and his hands on his knees. On the table near
him, beside Armadale's letter and my note, I saw, in the little
circle of light thrown by the reading-lamp, an open railway
guide.
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