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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)"

"
"Well," says I, "what do you ax a glass for it?"
"Two cents," says he.
"Well," says I, "seems to me I feel more dry than I do hungry now. Ain't
you a mind to take these 'ere biscuits again, and give me a glass of
cider?"
And says he,--
"I don't care if I do."
So he took and laid 'em on the shelf again, and poured out a glass of
cider. I took the cider and drinkt it down, and, to tell the truth, it
was capital good cider. Then says I,--
"I guess it's time for me to be a-going," and I stept along towards the
door; but says he,--
"Stop, mister: I believe you haven't paid me for the cider?"
"Not paid you for the cider!" says I. "What do you mean by that? Didn't
the biscuits that I give you just come to the cider?"
"Oh, ah, right!" says he.
So I started to go again, and says he,--
"But stop there, mister: you didn't pay me for the biscuits."
"What!" says I, "do you mean to impose upon me? do you think I am going
to pay you for the biscuits and let you keep them, too? Ain't they there
now on your shelf? What more do you want? I guess, sir, you don't
whittle me in that way."
So I turned about and marched off, and left the feller staring and
scratching his head, as though he was struck with a dunderment.
Howsomever, I didn't want to cheat him, only jest to show 'em it wa'n't
so easy a matter to pull my eye-teeth out; so I called in next day and
paid him two cents.


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