"'What we need to do,' I says in conclusion, 'is to get in line, get up
to date, give the people what they want. We have no way of judgin' the
future but by the past, as the feller says. We know they ain't no human
bein' can measure up to our requirements, so let's take a fall out of
science, and have enterprise and business sense.'"
J.P. Wamsley reached for a match.
"Did they accept your offer?" asked his companion. "I am anxious to know
how your plan worked. It has many points in its favor, I confess."
"No," replied J.P. Wamsley, as he meditatively puffed his cigar and
seemed to be lovingly reviewing the past. "No, they didn't. I'm kind o'
sorry, too. I'd like to have seen the thing tried myself. But," he
added, with a slow and solemn wink, "they passed a unanimous resolution
callin' back the old pastor at an increased salary."
"I should say, then, that your invention was a success."
"Well, I didn't lose out on it, anyhow. I've got John Henry rigged up
with a new bunch of whiskers, and posin' in my show-window as Dewitt,
signin' the peace treaty, in an elegant suit of all-wool at $11.50."
THE BOHEMIANS OF BOSTON
BY GELETT BURGESS
The "Orchids" were as tough a crowd
As Boston anywhere allowed;
It was a club of wicked men--
The oldest, twelve, the youngest, ten;
They drank their soda colored green,
They talked of "Art," and "Philistine,"
They wore buff "wescoats," and their hair
It used to make the waiters stare!
They were so shockingly behaved
And Boston thought them _so_ depraved,
Policemen, stationed at the door,
Would raid them every hour or more!
They used to smoke (!) and laugh out loud (!)
They were a very devilish crowd!
They formed a Cult, far subtler, brainier,
Than ordinary Anglomania,
For all as Jacobites were reckoned,
And gaily toasted Charles the Second!
(What would the Bonnie Charlie say,
If he could see that crowd to-day?)
Fitz-Willieboy McFlubadub
Was Regent of the Orchids' Club;
A wild Bohemian was he,
And spent his money fast and free.
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