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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)"

You must remember those things,
John, for in the factors of persuasion lie the shaping of human life.
I've been riding in the hot sun and I think that a mint julep would hit
me now just about where I live. Say, there, Bill, bring us some mint,
sugar and whisky. And cold water, mind you."
"Ah," said old Gideon, sipping his scented drink, "virtue may become
wearisome, and we may gape during the most fervent prayer, but I gad,
John, there is always the freshness of youth in a mint julep. Pour just
a few more drops of liquor into mine, if you please--want it to rassle
me a trifle, you know. Recollect those come-all ye songs we used to
sing, going down the river? Remember the time I snatched the sword out
of my cane and lunged at a horse trader from Tennessee? Scoundrel
grabbed it and broke it off and it was all I could do to keep him from
establishing a close and intimate relationship with me. Great old days,
John; and I gad, they'll never come again."
"I remember it all, Gid, and it was along there that you fell in love
with a woman that lived at Mortimer's Bend."
"Easy, now, John. A trifle more liquor, if you please. Thank you. Yes, I
used to call her the wild plum. Sweet thing, and I had no idea that she
was married until her lout of a husband came down to the landing with a
double-barrel gun.


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