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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)"

I saw our rector, Mr. Mills, this morning, and he spoke of
how thankful I ought to be--he had just passed my bayou field--and I
told him that I would not only assert my gratitude, but would prove it
with a substantial donation to the church at the end of the season."
In the glance which she gave him there was refined and gentle contempt;
and then she looked down upon the decanter of whisky. Old Gideon drew
down the corners of his mouth, as was his wont when he strove to excite
compassion.
"Yes," he said with a note of pity forced upon his voice, "I am
exceedingly thankful for all the blessings that have come to me, but I
haven't been very well of late; rather feeble to-day, and the kind Major
noticing it, insisted upon my taking a little liquor, the medicine of
our sturdy and gallant fathers, madam."
The Major sprawled himself back with a roaring laugh, and hereupon Gid
added: "It takes the Major a long time to get over a joke. Told him one
just now and it tickled him mighty nigh to death. Well, I must be going
now, and, madam, if I should chance to see anything of your charming
daughter, I will tell her that you desire a conference with her.
William," he called, "my horse, if you please."
* * * * *
The Major's wife went into the house as Batts came up, glancing back at
him as she passed through the door; and in her eyes there was nothing as
soft as a tear.


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