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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)"

Them last watch for elekshun times jest
like a sick frog waitin' for rain.
As Bill Nations used to say, I'd drather be a luniak and gnaw chains in
an asylum, than to be an editur that everybody feard and nobody
respekted.


THE TWO BUSINESS MEN
BY CAROLYN WELLS

Once on a Time two Business Men were Each Confronted with what seemed to
be a Fine Chance to Make Money.
One Man, being of a Cautious and Prudent Nature, said: "I will not Take
Hold of this Matter until I have Carefully Examined it in All its
Aspects and Inquired into All its Details."
While he was thus Occupied in a thorough Investigation he Lost his
Chance of becoming a Partner in the Project, and as It proved to be a
Booming Success, he was Much Chagrined.
The Other Man, when he saw a Golden Opportunity Looming Up Before him,
Embraced it at once, without a Preliminary Question or Doubt.
But alas! after he had Invested all his Fortune in it, the Scheme proved
to be Worthless, and he Lost all his Money.

MORALS:
This Fable teaches that you should Strike While the Iron is Hot, and
Look Before you Leap.


THE RETORT
BY GEORGE P. MORRIS

Old Nick, who taught the village school,
Wedded a maid of homespun habit;
He was stubborn as a mule,
She was playful as a rabbit.


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