But my condition stopped all that.
I wasn't so drunk but that I saw her face change
when she let me in. She was disgusted.
"In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was
more than disgusted with myself. I was in despair.
If she had hated me before--and she had said
she did--what must she do now? It seemed to
me that I had sunk so far beneath her that it would
take years to get back. It didn't seem worth while
making any plea for myself. You see, I was young
and had serious streaks all through me. So when
she told me that she had written home again, and
was going back--was going to leave me, I didn't
see that it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she
was really only waiting to forgive me, if I gave
her a chance. I started downtown to the building
and loan office, wondering when she would leave,
and if there was anything I could do to make her
change her mind. I must repeat again that I was a
fool--that I needed only to speak one word, had
I but known it.
"If I had gone straight to work, everything might
have come around all right even then. But I
didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I
stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get some-
thing to sort of pull me together.
"While I was there, who should come up to the
bar and order a drink but Prent McMakin.
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